Got Flexibility?

Here's what I've always thought I am: flexible.

Here's what I found out yesterday that I am not: flexible.

Here's what happened:

I have been able to be pretty heavily involved in ministry at my church in Greenville. I help direct children's choir, I teach the 4&5 yr old children's church, and I help in the 2&3 yr old nursery. Or at least, I did . . . until yesterday. Because they want to increase what the kids are learning in choir, they decided to make it on Wednesday night and put the music pastor in charge. I'm no longer needed to help in children's choir. Because they want to help the parents get more involved with the younger kids, they moved me from the 4&5s up to the 1st & 2nd graders. I'm no longer needed to teach the 4&5s. I didn't even get to tell them I wasn't going to be back to teach them. Because they moved children's choir to Wednesday, they had to change their regular Wednesday night program to Sunday night. And, you guessed it, they didn't need me in the nursery because the 3 yr olds go in with the older kids and the 2 yr olds are manageable with less people. So they sent me around asking if anyone needed help until I finally found an older kids group that needed an extra body.

And here's what I looked like on the outside: happy to help

Here's what I really was on the inside: NOT HAPPY TO HELP AT ALL

I wanted my little kids back. Oh sure, older kids are fine, but they don't hug me like the 3 yr olds and they also have this complex where they don't think I'm very funny, which is clearly untrue because all the 2-5 yr olds think I'm hilarious! And the older kids don't need me to read Jack & the Beanstalk 15x and use the big GIANT voice for the giant and tickle them and make them laugh. They also don't want to sing fun songs with big hand motions because obviously, that just isn't cool. And to top that off, they don't get a snack time! Yeah, I was pretty much not okay with my circumstances.

Here's what God did: convicted me of my selfishness.

I was supposed to be serving. This was a ministry.. Like I said, I've always considered myself to be flexible, but last night I realized that I was only willing to be flexible to a certain point. I had grabbed on to my ministries and made them my own personal achievements and my sources of fulfillment. Maybe that's why God thought it necessary to pull them away from me. Or maybe He just simply needed me to be available to other ministries because there was a need. I don't know exactly why it all worked out the way it did, but I know I definitely can't be effective when I'm pouting in the back of the room.

I'm still very sad to be taken away from my little kiddos, but with the Lord's strength I'll learn some flexibility and be able to minister in a different arena. Maybe I'll actually mature a little since I'm with older kids . . . .

m(r)