The Blessing of Halfway

It feels as though I've done nothing but run this semester. Run through classes, run through work. Run to meetings, to interviews, to meals. Run through homework, run through sleep, run through fun. Run to get coffee, run to get exercise. I've been running, and I won't lie to you . . . running all the time is tiring. SO tiring.

But I've finished this part of my race.

No, I promise I did not drop out of school (although you do not know how many times that option seemed incredibly inviting). But I have, however, hit a point of relief in my semester. I'm breathing today, sleeping today, and that is a fabulous thing. Just thinking about how relaxed and happy I am now makes me want to cry in relief.

That isn't why I'm writing though. I'm here to rejoice, not that I'm through, but that the Lord allowed me to be so busy and to learn so much about Him through this half of the semester. He's been so faithful to me, while helping me realize daily how undeserving I am. I've failed many, many times. Many, many, many. Many. If this semester did nothing else, it showed me how humble I should be. God has taught me many things, too many to fit into one blog post, but here is one of them.

About three weeks ago, I was walking into Panera at around 8pm on a Tuesday night with a friend who is in Bible class with me. She turns to me and says, "What book did you do your outside reading report on?"

*silence*

*crickets chirping*

I stuttered, "Aaah, what reading report?"

She whipped back around. "Mareena! The one where we read a book relating to one of the ten doctrines and write a report about it. The one due TOMORROW at 8am!"

I just stared at her. For some reason, some awful reason, I did not even know what she was talking about at all. But it was true. I was supposed to get a book, read that book, and write a book report about it by 8am the next morning. I looked at the book list . . . I hadn't read any of them. So I posted on facebook asking if anyone had any of the books. Luckily a friend had one of them in her room and she dropped it off by my room. At 9:30pm on Tuesday night, I began to read Trusting God by Jerry Bridges.

No book has ever been so necessary in my life. The two hours I was able to spend reading that book shaped my outlook on the rest of the semester and really my outlook on the rest of my life. It had three *simple* ideas.

God is sovereign.
God is good.
We should trust Him.

In everything, I can always turn back to the fact that my God is always looking out for my best good. Not what I think is best, but He knows is best. When I didn't get an internship that I was hoping for, I couldn't even be too sad about it. I had a talk with God, and I told Him that because I knew He was sovereign and He was love, that I was not supposed to get the internship. When I have friends who are struggling and my piddly brain cannot think of what I should say, I can reassure them of God's goodness and sovereignty. I mean, anything and everything can always lead back to those two things! It's so wonderful to know that Someone knows my life and I don't have to worry about it.

This semester isn't over; I still have a lot of responsibilities left to complete. However, the second half will include more breathing room. Hopefully it will include just as many learning experiences though. And whatever happens, I'll be thankful.

Col 3:15  And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.