A Day at the Fair

The fair is a veritable smorgasbord, smorgasbord
After the day has gone
Each night when the lights go out
It can be found, on the ground, all around….
That’s where a rat can glut, glut, glut, GLUT!




I really don’t like Charlotte’s Web. A story about a fainting pig and a talking spider never really appealed to me, okay? However, I do agree with Templeton on this one point. The fair is a veritable smorgasbord. I had the pleasure of attending the SC State Fair yesterday. Yes, the fair had an art show, a beauty pageant (amidst all the cows…it really was an ethereal setting for a beauty pageant), COWS, pig races, and a Ferris wheel, but the main attraction was definitely the food. It was everywhere, as far as the eye could see. Just walking on to the fairgrounds, you could smell the grease of the deep fat fryers in overdrive. I think the people that run the food part of the fair must have a big meeting at the beginning of each season. They gather together in a large conference room in their business suits, carrying their large briefcases full of important business. They sit at a long wooden table in comfortable chairs, pulling out their Macs to gather the main points of the meeting. The head of the committee stands up and introduces the agenda for the meeting. Surprisingly, there is only one item. It is in fact, the only item that is ever on the agenda. He hands out a sheet of paper to every person to gather their ideas. Everyone looks down at the paper and nods, realizing the importance of the question. At the top of each page this is written:

What haven’t we breaded and deep fat fried?

And then all those high powered individuals write down their ideas. Candy bars, cookie dough, large chunks of bread dough, Oreos, many other random objects, and of course, butter.

How do you eat fried butter? And what in the fat world does it taste like?? Probably, fat.

There are some wonderful delicacies that can really only be enjoyed at the fair. Snow cones, caramel and candied apples, funnel cakes, and cotton candy are just a few. Pretzels, popcorn, corndogs, and French fries are also easily accessible in the maze of food stands. However, there is one thing at the fair that I have to say I would never try. NEVER. It’s called a doughnut burger, and it is literally a hamburger (with bacon and cheese) with two Krispy Kreme doughnuts as the bun. TWO KRISPY KREME DOUGHNUTS AS THE BUN. Did you catch that? Two. Krispy Kreme. Doughnuts. As. The. Bun. I watched them make a few, and it was enough to make me swear off doughnuts for the rest of my life. Ok. Just the rest of the day, but still. It was fairly disgusting. I don’t think you’ll ever see that at McDonalds. But you never know. We sat beside a man who was just finishing off his uber weird burger and we of course had to ask him what he thought of it.

“It’s really good if you’re into the whole sweet and salty thing. I think I’ll make them when I get home. But don’t eat very many of them. They’ll give you diabetes.”

You heard it here first, folks. I never would have thought that greasy meat and deep fat fried, sugary glazed dough could lead to something bad, but apparently, it does. Diabetes.

Really though, the fair was fun! The pig races were funny, the swing ride was refreshing, the snow cone was delicious, and the whole atmosphere sucks you in. It almost feels like stepping back to a time where the fair was the highlight of the year and you prepared all year for it. Growing your pumpkins till they weighed 380 lbs and raising that perfect cow to show at the fair. Riding to the top of the Ferris wheel with your sweetheart, and prayin’ that it gets stuck at the top, eating till you were sick all those things that your mama would never allow you to eat at home, and loving every minute of it. That’s the joy of the fair.